What does jealousy do to you

Everyone experiences jealousy at some point in their lives, but the emotion can become unhealthy and negatively impact your relationships. It can range in intensity.

You may feel suspicious jealousy or reactive jealousy. The former is based on perception and is often tied to low self-esteem and insecurity and the latter is based on situations that actually threaten the relationship, and is often tied to actions or situations that lead to or cause the betrayal of trust.

Jealousy can lead to other emotions or feelings. In healthy doses, jealousy can serve as a reminder to cherish or prioritize a relationship. High degrees of jealousy, however, can impact the overall quality of a relationship. According to Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios, the following physical symptoms may occur when jealousy arises:. Jealousy can occur at any time, especially in situations that feel threatening, but the emotion can also build up over time, too. Jealousy can be difficult to understand and process.

Depending on the situation, you may feel embarrassed, threatened, insecure, or abandoned. Various psychological and socioeconomic factors can contribute to jealousy. Depending on your personality and attachment style, you may be more prone to experiencing the emotion. High levels of interdependence in a relationship may increase your risk of jealousy, for instance. Many situations can make you feel jealous. Some common ones include:.

While there are many forms of jealousy, there are two main categories: normal and abnormal jealousy. The six main types, described by Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios, are:. Jealousy is a normal human emotion, but abnormal jealousy can put you or others in danger. Mindfulness techniques help you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings as they come up without judging or criticizing them.

Increasing your awareness around jealousy can help you notice any patterns it follows, including things that happen before you feel jealous. Mindfulness can also help you feel more comfortable with jealousy. For example, it can help you notice and accept your jealous feelings for what they are — part of your emotional experience — and move on.

Not judging the jealousy, or yourself for feeling it, can help keep it from affecting you negatively. It might feel less intense after you deal with your feelings, of course, but it can also lessen once whatever you felt jealous about is over.

According to research that looked at the experience of jealousy, people are generally more likely to feel jealous right before something happens, rather than after. But the positive feelings you have stay. But a good therapist will meet you with kindness and compassion. Plus, they know better than anyone that jealousy is a normal emotion that everyone feels at some point.

Jealousy can help you focus on who and what you care about. It can even help relationships become stronger in some cases. It all comes down to how you use it.

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You and your partner should be open and upfront with each other about friendships and work relationships. Transparency will help you feel more secure. Show one another how much you value each other by putting your relationship before your work, your coworkers, and your friends. Every time you do this, you build trust. She is passionately devoted to helping couples achieve thriving relationships.

For information on a Bringing Baby Home workshop, counseling services, or to subscribe to her Tip Sheet, visit her website. Search for:. The things that you tell yourself will often drive the emotions you feel. Jealous fears about a partner often have roots in negative views about ourselves , Freeman notes.

Do you get jealous of a partner spending time socializing with others because you actually think your relationship is in jeopardy? Or are you insecure about not having your own hobbies outside of the relationship like he does?

Resting all of your self-worth on one relationship can breed insecurity, Freeman says. Make sure you have interests and activities outside of your relationship. All relationships benefit from mutually agreed upon rules when it comes to trust and faithfulness. Opening that conversation, especially when you feel distance or feel someone pulling away, can be very helpful.

If you are going to talk about it, what you say and how you say it matters, Stern says. Before you start the conversation, think about what you want from it, she says. But sometimes someone constantly checking up or being overly suspicious can itself cue mistrust.

Has this person given you a reason to mistrust them?